This ones for the ladies searching for love. I’m just going to tell you about a recent experience.
I know I touched base on when you’re new to dating and all the feelings that come along with it. The fears and etc..
Well, there is this guy that I had started talking to on an online dating app. No I am not used to this social network dating new work we live in today, but for the sake of my friends who have found it quite successful I thought why not give it a go.
The first date went really well. I was in my feelings think “Ouu, this could actually work out really well”.
Hopped on the phone to my girls to fill them in about this guy from a different background than mine, training to be a doctor, really looking for love. You know, the whole works detailed. Only for me to continue talking to him and see him slowly unravel his true self.
Now I’m going to be completely honest and let you know that I don’t always follow the same advice I might give to my friends. I might be like “yeah, make him wait” but in my own situation..if the moment feels right it’s got to be right. Right?
Well anyway, you’ll be pleased to know that I stayed militant in the rules I set prior to my engagement with this guy and done very well. Pat on the back and all that.
The second date, he was really going for it steamy hot and ready and to be frank, it turned me all the way off. I mean I don’t have a clue what could have made him think we were moving at this pace when I just about allowed him to kiss me goodnight on the first date.
So I cut the date short and was on my way out. After that we continued to speak but our work timetables kept clashing and clashing so I suggested that maybe if he collected me from work we can spend more time after work and grab dinner together.
At least I thought that was a good ideas.
It actually turned into an argument leaving me feeling as though I ask for too much and I’m unreasonable and misunderstanding.
I’ve written about manipulative behaviour and this was a clear red flag to me.
The next day he decided to make a bit of an effort to come and see me by turning up at my house with announcing that he was making him way, or would be come at this time. Me? I stay busy so it’s not all the time I can just make myself available. At that given moment I was in the middle of doing my uncles hair, so when I received a phone call from him saying he was downstairs, the horror in my tone was undeniable. On one hand it was sweet that the effort was put in but on the other, who gave you permission to just turn up univited to someone’s house. For one, I had work that day and looked a mess.
Two we are dating, not in a relationship so God knows if I was in the middle of another date night because let’s be honest there is no rules to this. Last but not least, it’s basic respect and manners to let someone know beforehand that you will be at their address.
As you could imagine, I was nowhere near ready for him to meet the family so I apologised but told him he couldn’t come up and without even a chance to say I’ll come down he had hung up on me.
I mean, it’s tough love but I can not be at fault for his intrusion can I?
Plus it was quite rude to just cut me off as if he’s a child whose ego was bruised along the way. You have a voice, use it?
A week later and still I’ve heard not one peep out of him so you see guys, I think I dodged a major bullet there.
Just because it looks like sugar doesn’t mean it’s sweet.
I don’t see myself dating online for a long while after that little experience but I wouldn’t knock it completely as it has worked for some.
My only advice would be, make sure that you allow them enough time to reveal who they really are and their true intention.